bosch

i remember one time when i watched Bosch series, and a scene where he stands alone watching his empty house or the scene where he watch the LA up from his house, i was thinking that maybe someday i'd be like him. drown in work, live alone, aging alone. if i ever get married, maybe i'd be divorced and live alone. i don't know why i feel related by his character so much. and now that i rewatched it, i feel the same way. the same loneliness. the same thought of growing old alone. just drowning in work. it sucks, i know. i don't know why mulai umur 20-an i always thought of maybe i'm not marrying someone. or that i'm okay if ill be married in 30s or more. i dunno. it's like, being in a relationship again will be so... i dunno. really. it's a blur. maybe i always put it in the back of my mind. that i always never put the love and relationship on one of my top priorities. it's just.... idk. huft. i think britney spears was right. this loneliness... is killing me.