it's okay. you'll live.

pada akhirnya kita sampai pada konklusi, 

bahwa tak bersama tak apa

lengan waktu berputar seperti adanya

dan luka-luka akhirnya mereda

tak apa, kan?

hidup akhirnya terus berlanjut

ada yang mampir, ada yang tinggal

yang pergi, akhirnya menjadi memori

tak apa, tenang saja

kamu akan baik-baik saja

kamu akan terus hidup seperti sedia kala

walau akan ada yang terus tumbuh 

akan ada yang terus berubah di hidupmu

// jejak mereka yang tertinggal 

26.10.22; 9.48am

birunya langit.

dan bukankah senja selalu berjanji perihal indah?
namun kini layung membiru

memanjakan hati yang kembali sendu

apalah yang terjadi, wahai sang rapuh?

seolah dunia hanya berhenti padanya

sehingga ketika ia beranjak,

rasanya seperti jantung ditarik begitu saja

meninggalkan rongga tak bernyawa

meninggalkan langit tak lagi berwarna

sebegitukah cinta membuatmu mati?

sebegitukah... ia berarti?

// 

25.10.22; 5.49pm

what if, once again, i put a sign in the front door of my heart because, once again, i broke my heart for letting you in?

people hurt other people just by thinking they are the truest. padahal menurut gue, di dunia ini ga ada yang absolut kecuali lu hidup dan lu mati.

imsyb, youR version.

hello, after all these years.

i think your name was the least of the names i wrote a letter to these days. sometimes, i forgot on how the days i fell into you. it's just... a decade ago. or more. i don't know anymore. i don't count anymore. it's just... you know... you get thru it by years. those memories about you faded away as the time went by. as more people came and gone from my life. 

today, your name popped up again in my head after a dream last night. it was just a silhouette of your back, but my heart knew it was you. after all these time passed by without you, i still knew it was you. it sucks, sometimes. that after i woke up, i missed you. i missed the silly love of children in red and white. i missed the silly time of us changing letters with the help of some friends. 

today, i miss you. 

and the thought of i'm living nearby now--and i still can't reach you again, it sucks. i miss you, and it sucks. and now i thought about why am i here. is it about me, or about a chance of randomly meeting you again? i don't know. oh, universe, sometimes i don't want an answer. i just want you to work on some miracles. 

today, randomly, i want to see you all over again.