imysb.

Han, know that someday I'll move on and forget about us, made me write some stuff about you. How we met, how much anxiety I felt back then, how can I fall for you after all these years I always hold on to myself and told myself to stop at some point. Know that I'll forget about us, made me write some shit again and again.

Han, if someday I move on and find somebody else, know that in one moment in my life, I loved you so much that it hurts. Really hurts. In a moment, I felt empty inside. Literally crying until I fell asleep. Literally scrolling through Instagram 'til Twitter to see your face and told myself that it was over.

Han, I know this was all about me. I don't know if you ever love me. Until now, I still feel like a joke and 'us' was a dream never come true. Tragedy. Even at the moment, I loved to listen to "Sad Beautiful Tragic" that I hated so much because of the sadness.

Han, I missed you. I am still, sometimes.
But it's okay. I'm okay.

Despite all the time I felt sick of myself and could ring your notification as soon as possible, I'm okay now. Sometimes it still felt like a dream, a perfect tragedy. But it's okay. You were moving into somewhere I don't know, and you're becoming someone I don't know. Or... it's as simple as this: I don't know you at all.

Han, if you read this. Know that I've loved you so much. I miss you, that's why I write this. But I'm okay. Like the last time we talked, I'm okay. Maybe I was too stupid, or tired, that explanations I wanted to say hung up on my tongue, and all I said was sorry.

Sorry, Han. If I ever loved you.
Or those hopes I set too high.
Or everything in between.
I'm sorry.

But still, I miss you.