so there were times after an event that i felt so burdened about being 'single' and it made me sad and depressed. it was a 'ticking-time-bomb', but more likely the time it went south. it's just.... the bomb went off and i felt like i was a failure. it wasn't a good time, and i hate the whole week. i was all over the place, i was depressed, i was angry with everything, i stressed over things that now looks so simple, it's just... not myself. it's my old-self. the anger-issue, the self-sabotage, the i-hate-the-world self.
and i passed it. with cries. with heavy heart. with depressed playlist.
i dealt with it, and in peace for several days. i felt okay. i felt it was the time to smile again and played my summer tunes. i went to healthy habits again. wrote my journal again. having average days like i always had. it went normal and i was feeling okay.
but today, i just realized that i just buried it behind me without solving or telling anyone what i felt. i just got by it without doing anything. and when i burst the whole story to my friend... damn, i almost cried in crowds. and now, the depressed tunes replay in my room. the heavy heart comes back. and all i wanna do is laying in bed, thinking about how to get pass the phase where i feel bad about myself. about being alone in this modern life.
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