18 Agustus 2024

lalu kau pergi kembali dengannya.

aku sedang mendengar Tulus bernyanyi:
di bawah basah langit abu-abu 
kau di mana?
di lengangnya malam menuju Minggu
kau di mana? 
dan lagi-lagi rasa itu yang hadir 
sendu sejenak meramu kelabu 
pada senja menuju entah hari apa
mungkin sudah seminggu terhitung
kurang-lebihnya tak lagi kuingat
tapi nomornya tak lagi bisa kuhubungi
notifikasiku senyap
namun ucapan selamat ia terima 
rupanya, ada perempuan lain
ada yang membuatmu berpaling 

aku tidak pernah tahu akhir dari kisah kita
yang kutahu hanya hari berganti
dan tak ada lagi 'kita' yang bisa kucapai
hariku berlalu begitu saja
malamku kembali gelap
cintaku pada senja sudah senyap
dan kembali abu yang menjadi temanku 
entah apa maksudmu, yang kutahu
sayangimu, aku telah keliru
ayo tulis di buku harianmu
kelak jelaskan bila engkau punya waktu

itu tahun-tahun yang lalu
melihatnya hari ini, sudah mustahil
rasaku habis, dan tak bersisa
namun senandung di sore hari itu 
tentang kamu, dan sunyinya hidupku seusai kamu
kini tinggal memori-memori tentang luka 
aku menarik napas terpanjang hari ini 
dan berharap esok ketika kudengar lagi lagu ini
aku tak lagi mengingatmu sebagai pertanda
walau aku terkadang masih bertanya
bertemukah kau dengan sang puas?
benar senangkah rasa hatimu? 


// senandung dan sendu.
18.08.24; 10.02pm

12 Agustus 2024

august & and it's about you, again.

salt air, and the rust on your door
i never needed anything more 

how come it's already august 
the time went by
years and years away from your footsteps
it's not haunting anymore
yet the aches never leave this town 
i already forget how it started
the butterflies and the smiles
the voices led to your sleeps
the unknown relationship we planted
in miles away, out of our reach
i don't even know now when it started
but it was august
when my heart started to fall 
scattered like glass on the marble floor 

there was something 'bout you 
that now i can't remember
it's the same damn thing 
that made my heart surrender

truly, it was undefining moment
when it comes about you 
you were the sunshine in my nights
the friend when i was away from my life 
the love i could not even had 
i don't remember why
but once, my life revolved around you
and when it stopped, i couldn't felt my heart
it was empty
and no other word would describe
how was my life for the rest of that year

to live for the hope of it all 
cancel plans just in case you'd call
and say, "meet me behind the mall"

and when it ended
what was it for? 
the "i've waited for your call"
the "how's life in Jakarta?"
the "we'll meet when you're back home"
the plans we finally cancelled 
because it was just a scene in my head
and when i finally arrived at home
it was rust on the door
you never opened it for me
yet i knocked it anyway 
just for me to realize, 
you've never been there

do you think i have forgotten
.... about you? 


// summer aches
12.08.24; 07.36pm.